“Why didn’t I see this sooner?” is a question that may cross your mind once the blaring red flags start making appearances. Have they always been there, or has he changed? The most likely answer is that you have not noticed the red flags in a relationship with a man because you’ve been blinded by love.
It is easy to be swept away by charismatic traits. He probably made such an impression during the dating stages that he made you believe you were compatible. Nothing seems flawed about his character, and logic is thrown out the window. You unknowingly minimized the bad traits because he made you feel like you were floating on clouds.
Before you know it, you’re way too deep, and you let your heart do all the thinking. Sooner or later, he will bring you down from those clouds, and you’ll see what type of man he is. Coming to terms with this is heartbreaking, but if you’ve noticed concerning patterns, don’t ignore the alarm bells.
You love this man, so you’ll have difficulty challenging your heart. However, recognizing the red flags will help you determine how to address them. Keep reading to learn all about the 11 red flags in a relationship with a man.
What Are Red Flags in A Relationship?
Relationship red flags are concerning signs and patterns someone displays. The person exhibiting these signs often engages in behaviors that negatively impact their partner and relationships.
They are called red flags because they act as warning signs. For instance, when you’re driving and see a red light, it is a signal to stop. Similarly, these relationship red flags tell you to reassess the person you’re dealing with. They’re meant to show you the true character of this individual.
Sometimes, they are hard to notice because you may experience silent red flags in a relationship. Some common silent red flags include backhanded compliments, insulting jokes, and being overly secretive.
The behaviors or habits known as red flags render relationships unhealthy. It is a highlight of what could be contributing to your incompatibility. You should take them seriously, as some red flags, such as controlling behaviors, can be dangerous.
Red Flags in A Relationship with A Man
Some red flags are an indication that you need to communicate more. In addition to communication, seeing a professional to address the underlying issues can help your relationship.
Unfortunately, other red flags indicate that you must step away from the relationship indefinitely. Learning about them helps you decide.
He goes along with everything you say
If he agrees with you on every topic, it could mean a few things…
Either he’s trying to please you by any means necessary, or he has no opinions. Also, if you notice this earlier in your relationship, he could be trying to study everything you love because he is a narcissist. Narcissists use this as a manipulation tactic. Extremes are never good, so dating someone like this is a red flag.
If he does this to be likable in your eyes, he is not showing you his authentic self. It is also likely that you will be charged with all the decision-making in your relationship, which is exhausting. Additionally, he will mostly agree with your wrong choices if he has no opinions.
What happens when you need to make hard decisions? It will feel like you’re alone in the relationship because everything is left up to you. Depending on the reasons for this behavior, this is a red flag that you can communicate and work through together. If he is a narcissist, this behavior won’t carry long into the relationship because it is simply a façade they use to interlude themselves in your life before showing their true character.
He micromanages you
You’ll have difficulty meeting his standards if he micromanages you in the relationship. An example is someone who constantly checks on you to ensure you complete a task how they like it. Oftentimes, he will correct everything you do and try to shift things you do to his liking.
Micromanaging in relationships can create a restricting environment in which the other partner has no autonomy. It can lead to a lack of trust, impaired communication, and an overwhelming need for everything to be perfect.
While micromanaging can be a toxic trait, medical conditions could also be of cause. Those who have OCD may also crave structure through micromanaging. Therefore, communicate your boundaries and feelings to your partner to come to compromises.
He doesn’t think household chores are his responsibility
Laundry, cooking, and doing the dishes are something he doesn’t see as part of his role as a man. This is stereotypical and must be addressed before you commit or earlier in the relationship if you don’t want to live like that.
Essential domestic responsibilities should not be gender specific. As an adult, cleaning after yourself is the bare minimum. If you’re dealing with someone who believes otherwise, you’ll be a caregiver rather than a romantic partner.
You’ll be saddled with all the household responsibilities, which can be overwhelming without help. To address this, come together as a couple to develop the best structure for your relationship.
He throws adult temper tantrums
Before going deeper, it is essential to note that temper tantrums are not only from bad temper. They can also be due to conditions such as intermittent explosive disorder. Speaking to a professional about treatment methods is highly important if you think you might suffer from this.
Lack of emotional regulation can lead to uncontrollable outbursts. While there are people who genuinely suffer from mental health conditions, there are others that use outbursts as a manipulation tactic. They throw tantrums to draw attention to themselves and get what they want from you.
Someone who can’t properly manage their emotions is a risk to themselves and others.
Can’t handle “no” to sex
Does he feel entitled to your body for whatever reason? This is a red flag because he is objectifying you. You’re a sexual outlet and nothing else in his eyes.
Also, they’re less likely to care about what you get from these sexual interactions. The goal is to fulfill their sexual desires, and you’re there to make sure that happens because he feels it is his right.
Men who do this will constantly push your boundaries and don’t feel the need to respect your space. There is a lack of empathy. Instead of worrying about why you’re saying no to sexual advances, he focuses on ways to manipulate you into sex. They will use tactics to guilt you and shame you into it.
He keeps questionable company
All his friends’ behaviors make you scratch your head; however, he says he’s nothing like them. His character may be strong enough not to be easily influenced, but why does he keep such questionable company?
The company someone keeps can say a lot about them. These are choices and often are reflective of your values and beliefs. It could also simply mean that he had these friends that he has outgrown but can’t leave in the past.
This is one of those red flags that is subjective. For some, it is a dealbreaker, while others can find a way to come to terms with it. Whatever it is, address your concern respectfully to get his perspective.
He is in secret competition with you
In his view, everything is a “him vs you” situation. He can never be happy for you because he seeks a way to one-up you. He needs to be better than you at everything. This is unhealthy competition, and it is highly damaging to relationships.
You can’t share moments or enjoy your accomplishments because he minimizes them. Unhealthy competition can bring on subtle jealousy and toxicity in the relationship. With this mindset, you’ll always work against one another in the relationship.
He is always deflecting
Deflection is the act of twisting words to avoid responsibility. It is a defense mechanism that is used to maintain a specific image. For instance, his apologies are often filled with excuses, and by the time he is done apologizing, you become the one at fault, or someone else is. In some cases, they might even change the subject.
The problem always seems to be external people or factors, but never him. If he deflects, you’ll realize your concerns will never be addressed. You may feel disregarded, constantly overexplaining, and always confused throughout the relationship.
All his past partners were the problem
A great question to approach early is about previous relationships and why they may have ended. There is no need to overshare; however, addressing this question with an open mind can help you learn more about your partner.
Were they all awful individuals, or is there something he isn’t telling you?
He may have had bad luck or is dating the same type of people. He may also cast his ex-partners in a bad light to make himself look good. For instance, a narcissist will share horror stories about their past partners unprovoked. Try to see whether there is a justification for his claims by asking questions. You can ask about the same story again months later to see if any details change.
He is only nice to you
Sometimes, red flags in a relationship with a man may seem like a green flag. This is because he treats you well, so you ignore his behavior outside of the relationship.
This behavior is problematic because it wouldn’t change outside of the relationship if he is genuinely nice. Kindness isn’t an attire you put on and off; it is a character strength.
It says a lot about someone, and this should concern you. This could be love bombing, and he might show his true personality once you’re emotionally invested.
He ONLY listens to his mom
Parents are unique, and you’ll always need them in life. They’ve seen you through a lot in life and love you unconditionally. Regardless of age, you may need parental help or advice occasionally.
A man that respects and loves his mother is admirable. Nonetheless, there must be boundaries; some men fail to create them with their mothers.
If he needs his mother’s approval before doing anything, it can adversely affect the romantic relationship. Their mother’s decisions can override everything you say. This can be draining and make you feel your contributions don’t matter.
This is something that you can communicate to your partner before moving forward. Avoid giving ultimatums in these situations, as it will only worsen it. Be understanding, make compromises, and set healthy expectations.
Red flags in a relationship with a man aren’t always specific to only men. While these patterns may be seen mainly in men, women can also display these signs.
Your red flags may vary depending on your lifestyle, values, and preferences. There may be signs you consider tolerable rather than complete dealbreakers. Regardless, you should never ignore red flags. Address the situation, communicate, and make better decisions moving forward.
Most of the time, red flags impact relationships negatively in some way through someone’s behaviors or words. These red flags can help determine whether you’re compatible with your partner. While some red flags can quickly be detected, others go unnoticed because of the emotional investment.