Cohabiting is a huge step in relationships and should be done for the right reasons. When deciding to share a space, amongst other things with a partner, it should be followed by an elaborate thought process on expectations and a clear view of the direction of your relationship. Trust should be established prior to moving in with your partner. Relationship-building questions are great for setting that trust foundation before deciding to move in together. You are continuously developing trust in your relationship by openly assessing questions you may have.
The three Cs should be a part of the relationship deep questions dives you go into before the move-in process. These are Communication, Compromise, and Compatibility. Communication must be at the forefront of this process; hence, the necessary relationship questions to ask your partner. Compromise and compatibility come into play while dating, but also should be reevaluated prior to cohabiting. This will be one of your “firsts” with your significant other; therefore, you want to ask healthy relationship questions that can set you on the right path. Below are 12 relationship questions to ask your partner prior to cohabiting.
What financial expectations do you have for me/ How should we break down and share our future household expenditures?
Discussing finances can be one of those tricky relationship questions to ask based on your comfortability with your partner, but it must be done. In this situation, it is important to set your discomforts aside and understand what you expect from each other financially.
Where will be in our relationship in ‘x’ number of years?
Some people can end up blindsided years into their relationship because things are not made clear. You want to avoid surprises, especially before moving in with your partner. Make sure you both agree on your short and long-term relationship goals.
What household chores are you uncomfortable/comfortable with?
Unfortunately, somebody must do the chores. In this case, it must be agreed upon by you and your partner. Each relationship works differently; therefore, choose whether dividing the chores equally or allocating chores based on personal preference works best for you.
Your partner may love doing the laundry, while you don’t. Allowing your partner to do the laundry while you focus on a different chore will eliminate unnecessary arguments. Communicating this with one another makes this process much easier.
Are we moving into a completely new space or into one or the other person’s place?
This is extremely important to discuss. It might be more beneficial to choose a new space together when making this decision. This allows you and your partner to come together and create something new and loved by both of you. It creates the ‘ours’, (ie. our house/apartment) in conversations, which is healthy in relationships.
How are we going to make decorative decisions in our new space?
This might seem minor at first but should be talked about. Your taste may be different when it comes to designing a living space. You do not want to live in a space you are unhappy with. Here, also comes the idea of compromising.
What annoys you when sharing a space with someone?
A simple question, with endless possibilities for answers. Of the 100 relationship questions making rounds in your mind constantly, this should be at the forefront. When dating someone, it can be easy to slowly note pet peeves, but living with someone can be a different story.
What does your sleeping habit look like?
Knowing whether your partner likes music or quiet bliss while sleeping is important. Your partner’s sleep/wake routines are also something you need to be comfortable with to avoid future arguments.
What does your “me” time consist of?
Your partner may enjoy 2-hour quiet baths on Sundays, or they may prefer long drives alone to nowhere. This is a time they create and enjoy spending alone. Understanding when to give them space is essential because it provides balance to your living arrangements.
What does your credit score look like?
This is another finance question that can be uncomfortable for some. You need to have this conversation because you are renting or buying a place together. Always ask questions and be open-minded about your partner’s answers.
What are your past experiences with previous live-in partners/roommates (if any)?
This can help you understand how your partner was in previous live-in situations. You can learn a lot from this question. You can determine your partner’s dislikes, and likes, as well as some undesirable characteristics, if they can be honest.
Are you comfortable with setting up an emergency fund together?
Moving in together is a form of commitment. Having a fund designed for your place that you can both rely on during hard times can make this process much better. This is a partnership, and this fund allows you to be there for one another financially.
Will we be needing roommates in our new space together?
Your thought process might be different from that of your partner. Cost of living and other factors can lead many to consider roommates, and there are a lot of couples that live peacefully with this arrangement. You want to make sure this is ideal for you prior to making your move-in decision.