After a breakup, the logical thing to do is to move on. However, strong feelings were involved, and it is not always easy to remain unaffected by what your ex is up to. Whether it is through word of mouth or you’re still following him on socials (highly not advised, by the way), you may find he has moved on. Moreover, you might even discover that his new relationship seemed to be what you always prayed yours would be like. Undeniably, he treats his new girlfriend better than he ever did you.
You’re bound to feel different types of emotions at this moment. The immediate emotion is not always happiness for the new couple. Reasonably, you might feel jealous, hurt, betrayed, and even confused. You might start comparing yourself to his new partner. Additionally, this can cause a resurge of the feelings you experienced when you initially broke up. Although you know deep down in your heart that being apart is the best decision, you may even start thinking you want him back.
Numerous questions may start making rounds in your mind. You may start wondering why he is suddenly so good to someone new, although you’ve been there longer, done more for him, even begged him to be treated half as good.
First and foremost, you have every right to feel these emotions. However, don’t let your feelings contradict your current reality. These feelings and thoughts may make you think you want to rekindle things but consider why you’ve broken up. He’s moved on; you should allow yourself to do the same.
Let’s discover 9 reasons he treats his new girlfriend better.
Why He Treats Her Better
You feel slighted and wronged, rightfully so. This is not the time to play the self-blame game. You can’t make anyone change their behavior. However, you can take accountability for tolerating less than what you deserved in the relationship. Here is why he treats her better…
1. You accepted low to no effort
In a relationship, each person invests time and effort to keep things afloat. Without reciprocity, the relationship can quickly become one-sided.
A man who cares about the relationship will provide the bare minimum to maintain it. He will also go above and beyond for the relationship’s growth, to make you smile, and to strengthen your bond. So, you shouldn’t have to beg for respect, affection, or effort on his end. When you beg, and he still doesn’t care to change, staying in the relationship only further shows that you don’t value yourself. Therefore, he takes advantage of this and will continue to give you next to nothing. If this was your situation, he likely treats his new girlfriend better because he cannot get away with providing breadcrumbs.
2. He was not as invested as you were
Truthfully, if he cared enough, he would have treated you how you deserve to be treated. There is a possibility that you cared more than he ever did. He cannot give what the relationship needs to thrive because he was never as emotionally invested as you were. Perhaps, he never cared what the outcomes of his actions would be, so he did not care enough to change how he treated you.
3. There were no healthy boundaries in your relationship
Boundaries are principles you set to honor yourself in the relationship. Making them clear to your partner ensures you’re provided with kindness, love, and respect. It isn’t easy to meet your needs without setting boundaries and making them known in the relationship.
Without healthy boundaries, you cannot communicate correctly. You’re giving full access because you’re unlikely to recognize your dealbreakers, specify your limits, and make your desires known. His new relationship may have clarified this, so he treats his new girlfriend better per her boundaries.
4. He is love-bombing her
Unhealthy relationships don’t always start that way. Chances are, he treated you the same way at the beginning of your relationship. He was Prince Charming until he was not.
The attention he gives her is overwhelming, like how he treated you when you first met. This is how he had you commit to the relationship; he may do the same to her. These types of relationships are often inconsistent. If you’ve experienced this with him, he may repeat the same pattern in his next relationship.
5. He wants to make you look bad
There is a chance that he wants people to see him as the “good guy.” This can happen if your relationship ends on bad terms and you have the same friend group. He treats his new girlfriend better because he is putting on a pretense. Regardless of how the relationship ended, he wants to make others believe he was not the problem.
6. He is manipulating you
You’re no longer together, but he knows you. He probably knows that you will be watching his every move online. Remember, what you see online is not always what it seems. Seeing someone post the worst parts of their lives is rare and almost nonexistent.
He treats his new girlfriend better online, but this may not be the case behind closed doors. If he has tried getting back with you and you rejected him, giving his new girlfriend everything you’ve asked for can be a ploy to get your attention.
7. You were the placeholder
“Why did my ex change for his new girlfriend?” It is because she is the one he wanted all along. The harsh truth is he didn’t love you.
A placeholder girlfriend is someone he keeps around until he finds the woman he desires. In this situation, a man strings along a woman he does not love to fill a void and fulfill his personal needs with no intention of taking things seriously. Everything in these types of relationships will be superficial and muddied with uncertainties. He won’t acknowledge your needs and will make no mention of long-term goals with you in mind. He might even have been emotionally unavailable while you were together.
8. He is more compatible with her
Their values and goals may align better.
Lack of compatibility can complicate relationships. If you’re not compatible, you probably don’t share similar interests or hobbies, making it challenging to spend time together. You are also unlikely to agree on core beliefs that help you navigate life. Compatibility helps you develop a friendship as lovers and drives you to want to grow together.
9. He does not want to repeat the mistakes of the past
He treats his new girlfriend better because he learned lessons from his previous relationship. It is possible that he changed. He grew from your relationship and more than likely realized that he took you for granted. Losing you may have been hard for him, and he does not want to make the same mistakes in his current relationship.
It is crushing to be in this position. You had a goal in the relationship: to be treated like your ex treats his new girlfriend. The inability to achieve and watch that goal unfold with someone else can lead to mental obsession.
However, wasting your time wondering why and pondering the what-ifs is never healthy. The best thing to do in this situation is to take healthy approaches to heal from the breakup. Without proper healing, you’ll unknowingly find yourself in a competition with his new girlfriend.
Obsessing over this situation will only create false desires and unhealthy habits. You’re creating an illusion of this person by romanticizing his new relationship. Avoid keeping up with him and his new partner. Reinvest your energy into things that will make you happier to place yourself in a position to attract better.
Better yet, do what you expected him to do for you. You need to replace the mental attachment with things you desire and cherish. Take yourself on dates, and book vacations for yourself. Once the focus becomes you, the relationships you attract will be nothing less than.